Archives for December 2018

An Open Letter To Myself For The New Year

December 31, 2018 by Natalie 19 Comments

I accomplished so much in 2018. It should have been my year. I grew my business more than I could have ever imagined, traveled, got to collaborate on dream projects (hello Betsey Johnson), had wonderful clients, and got so many home features both online and in print. But all my successes were overshadowed by someone who was unsupportive, jealous, and most of all — abusive.

I’m opening up on the blog today with an open letter to myself for the new year. This might be too personal and some people might judge me for sharing but lately, the internet/Instagram has been leaving me feeling a little inauthentic. It’s really hard to create perfect things that are meant to inspire people when your whole life has just fallen apart. The internet can be a little too perfect sometimes and we’re all humans that ARE NOT perfect. We should be inspiring each other and lifting one another up through all sorts of things in life, not just the perfect moments.

This is my corner of the internet and I want to use it to heal. I also want to use it to inspire others, especially women, who might be in a bad situation like I was. Abuse, no matter what kind, is not acceptable.

I am thankful that I get another chance and a fresh start going into a brand new year.

I am thankful for all the positive things in my life and proud of all of my accomplishments. Today I leave behind all the negative. The past is in the past and it has no place beside me in 2019.

Dear Natalie,

I noticed that you haven’t been yourself lately. There’s been a lot on your plate and you’ve been having trouble keeping up. But don’t despair, please stay hopeful. Everything is going to come back. Your peace, your confidence, your joy, and the pink light which fills your heart. I know you feel like you’ve lost yourself and like the world and your whole life are crumbling down around you, but this is just a phase. It will pass.

This is just one chapter in the story you’re writing and when this chapter ends, you will find yourself once more.

You feel like you have lost control over your life and like you can’t do anything right. You feel like a fool for always trying to see the best in people and letting these toxic people tear you down again and again. You feel disappointed in yourself for allowing someone to treat you in a such an abusive and awful way for far too long. And you’re right, you deserve so much better.

You feel like you haven’t been living your life because there has been a dark negative cloud hovering over it for quite some time now. But that cloud is about to go away. Nothing lasts forever.

If you feel like you’re about to break down, give up, just remember one thing: you are strong and you are better than this and you can fight against anything that hurts you.

Bad abusive relationships, heartbreaks, failure, unfulfilled dreams, unaccomplished goals — you’ve been through all of this before. We all have.

I know what it’s like to have your heart broken into a million tiny pieces and to have to pick them all up, piece by piece, all by yourself. I have felt what it’s like to be in a one-sided relationship in which your expectations aren’t met. Instead of feeling loved, happy, respected, supported, and fulfilled, you feel lonely, unappreciated, sad, and empty.

We all deserve to be loved. We all deserve to be respected. And we all deserve to be happy.

I know what it’s like to be so close to reaching your goals and then something unexpectedly blows everything up in your face. And then you start thinking, maybe he was right. Maybe you are a stupid, worthless, washed up has been. Maybe you are a loser. This person loved you, right? So their opinion of you must be correct. No.

NO!

You can’t let heartbreak and failure tear you down. You can’t walk away from everything you want and everything you’ve worked so hard for. You can not believe the terrible words of an awful ABUSIVE person who is clearly projecting their insecurities on to you. You can not help someone that doesn’t want to change.

You need to remember your strength, resilience, and worth. There are so many people in your life that love and will continue to love you no matter what. And one day you will meet the person who will truly love, respect, and support you, no matter what. And you will be happy. So, so happy. I promise.

Life can be hard and unfair. It can be cruel and draining. People can be mean and hateful. But none of this is permanent. I know it’s hard for you now, but remember that this is just a phase. It is just a chapter, not your whole story.

You haven’t lost yourself, she’s right here. Finish writing this chapter and turn the page forever.

2019 is waiting for you and there are pink skies ahead. Everything is going to be alright.

Happy New Year!

Love,

Yourself

Thanks to each and every one of you for your continued support. Wishing you all the best. Happy New Year! xo

Bitter Blood Orange French 75

December 30, 2018 by Natalie Leave a Comment

Can 2018 get the hell out of town already? Sending this year off with something bitter and sparkling because it only seemed appropriate. I took a popular classic champagne cocktail, the French 75 (gin, lemon, simple, champagne), and changed it up a bit by adding fresh blood orange juice and Campari. My bitter blood orange riff on the French 75 is the perfect cocktail to send 2018 packing.

The original French 75 was created by Harry Macelhone at Harry’s New York Bar in Paris in 1915. The cocktail was said to have such a kick that it felt like being shelled with the powerful French 75mm Howitzer field gun. The cocktail was popularized in America at The Stork Club in NYC and with its publication in the Savoy Cocktail book in 1930. It also makes an appearance in one of my favorite Humphrey Bogart movies, Casablanca.

Bitter Blood Orange French 75, makes 1 serving

1 oz. gin

1/4 oz. campari

1/2 oz. blood orange juice

1/2 oz. simple syrup

Champagne or Prosecco

First add all ingredients (except champagne) to a cocktail shaker, fill completely with ice and then shake vigorously. Strain into a coupe glass and top with champagne. Garnish with a slice of blood orange.

The changes that I made to this classic cocktail were so simple yet made such a huge impact on the flavor. Blood oranges have deep red flesh and the flavor is much more intense than a normal orange. This fruit is sweet, bitter, and has a slight hint of raspberry flavor. They pair perfectly with Campari, which is also crimson red and has a bittersweet taste with distinct notes of cherry, cascarilla, clove, rhubarb, cinnamon, and orange peel. As a result of the color of both of these ingredients, and their delicious flavors we are left with a delicious and stunningly hued cocktail.

While many great and positive things happened in my life during 2018, unfortunately, it has come to a bittersweet ending. It only felt right to make a bubbly and bittersweet cocktail to coincide with that. I’m looking forward to the future, continuing to grow my business, and making some big life changes in 2019. But most of all I am most excited for a fresh start and a chance to be happy again. I’m raising my glass and wishing you all a very Happy New Year! xo

All I Want For Christmas is Gin: Peppermint Negroni

December 23, 2018 by Natalie 3 Comments

Hey everyone! Just thought I’d jump in here and squeeze in one Christmas post before it’s too late. I needed something easy to make for Christmas so I variated on one of my favorite classics and made a Peppermint Negroni. Sorry for being MIA the last few weeks but life has taken some crazy turns and I needed to step away and take care of myself. I will probably share more about that soon but let’s just say I’m more excited to start a new year than you could possibly know. So let’s have a drink, shall we?

Peppermint Negroni, makes 1 serving

1 oz. peppermint tea-infused gin (I used Brooklyn Gin)

1 oz. sweet vermouth

1 oz. Campari

Making a tea infusion is a super simple way to change up a classic. I decided to infuse the gin for this one because it is the highest ABV of the three ingredients so I know it would infuse pretty quickly. I used two peppermint tea bags and steeped half a bottle of gin for an hour and then removed the tea bags. That should suffice taste wise but give it a test and if you want it more peppermint forward add another tea bag or leave them in for longer.

To make the Peppermint Negroni add all of your ingredients to a mixing glass and stir on ice. Strain into a rocks glass over a large cube and garnish with an orange twist. Perhaps even a candy cane on the side. Not going to lie, I totally stirred this with a candy cane and then ate it. It’s Christmas, what can I say?

All I want for Christmas is Gin.

I love how a simple tweak can change a cocktail entirely plus make it more festive for the holidays. Enjoyed quite a few of these last night by the tree. I hope you’ll give this Peppermint Negroni a try for Christmas Eve or Christmas. As always I would love to hear your thoughts below and I hope everyone has a Merry Christmas. xo

Espresso Donuts with Irish Cream Glaze

December 7, 2018 by Natalie Leave a Comment

If you dig really deep on the internet you will probably find the first blog I ever started. I’ll let you be the super sleuth but it was, in fact, a baking blog. I’m happy to have clients like Kerry Gold Irish Cream that let me have creative freedom to come up with all sorts of recipes like these Espresso Donuts with Irish Cream Glaze. These are so easy to throw together and bake in only 8 minutes!

Another secret that you probably don’t know about me is that before the blog or bartending or design school I really wanted to open up a bakery. Baking has always been like therapy to me. For 30 minutes, to an hour or the longest, most tedious, baking challenge (like fondant — still terrible at that) I seem to lose myself at the task at hand. For those minutes or hours, my mind is completely clear and I can just concentrate on a recipe and making something out of nothing. I love working with my hands, having the house be overpowered with warm delicious smells, tasting the batter, and indulging in a hopefully perfect finished product.

The other thing about me is that I live for coffee. It gets me through the days and sometimes even the nights. I also live for sweets. Fact: I was born with 32 sweet tooths. No joke. So now you know the way to my heart. And that finally brings me to how I came up with these Espresso Donuts. They’re decadently rich, sweet, caffeinated, and boozy. I don’t think that I have to mention that I also love booze, right? That’s already a given.

Espresso Donuts, makes 1 dozen

1 1/4 cups all-purpose flour

1/2 cup brown sugar

1/3 cup unsweetened cocoa powder

1/4 cup granulated sugar

1 tbsp. finely ground espresso or instant espresso powder

1/2 tsp. baking soda

1/2 tsp. baking powder

1/4 tsp. salt

1 egg, lightly beaten

1/2 cup milk

1/2 cup butter, melted

1 cup miniature semisweet chocolate chips

Kerry Gold Irish Cream Glaze

2 cups powdered sugar

1/4 cup Kerry Gold Irish Cream

Preheat your oven to 375°F. Coat your doughnut pan with cooking spray and set aside. In a large bowl stir together flour, brown sugar, cocoa powder, granulated sugar, espresso, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. In a medium bowl combine egg, milk, and melted butter. Add egg mixture all at once to flour mixture, stir just until smooth and then stir in chocolate chips.

Spoon batter into a ziplock bag and snip off one corner of the bag. Alternatively, you can use a pastry bag if you have one. Pipe batter into the doughnut pans, filling about half full. Bake for 6-8 minutes or until tops springs back when lightly touched. Cool in pan on a wire rack for 2 minutes. Invert pan to let the doughnuts drop out and let them cool completely on the wire rack.

To make the glaze stir together the powdered sugar and Kerry Gold Irish Cream. If the glaze is too thick add more Irish Cream until you have the desired consistency. Spoon or pour the glaze on top of doughnuts, allowing the excess to drip off. Leave doughnuts, glazed sides up, on wire racks until glaze is set.

If you’re not a fan of rich and decadent then these double chocolate Espresso Donuts with Irish Cream Glaze just aren’t for you. And that’s a crying shame, so don’t disappoint me. I hope you can find the time to make yourself a treat this weekend. If you do leave me an update in the comments below. Hopefully one day I’ll open that bakery but I think I might make it a retirement plan for when I want to wake up at 3 am to bake. For now, I will continue to be going to bed at that hour. xo

Archives for December 2018

Bitter Blood Orange French 75, makes 1 serving

Peppermint Negroni, makes 1 serving

Espresso Donuts, makes 1 dozen

Kerry Gold Irish Cream Glaze

Footer

Check out what’s happening on Instagram!