Natalie

An Open Letter To Myself For The New Year

December 31, 2018 by Natalie 14 Comments

I accomplished so much in 2018. It should have been my year. I grew my business more than I could have ever imagined, traveled, got to collaborate on dream projects (hello Betsey Johnson), had wonderful clients, and got so many home features both online and in print. But all my successes were overshadowed by someone who was unsupportive, jealous, and most of all — abusive.

I’m opening up on the blog today with an open letter to myself for the new year. This might be too personal and some people might judge me for sharing but lately, the internet/Instagram has been leaving me feeling a little inauthentic. It’s really hard to create perfect things that are meant to inspire people when your whole life has just fallen apart. The internet can be a little too perfect sometimes and we’re all humans that ARE NOT perfect. We should be inspiring each other and lifting one another up through all sorts of things in life, not just the perfect moments.

This is my corner of the internet and I want to use it to heal. I also want to use it to inspire others, especially women, who might be in a bad situation like I was. Abuse, no matter what kind, is not acceptable.

I am thankful that I get another chance and a fresh start going into a brand new year.

I am thankful for all the positive things in my life and proud of all of my accomplishments. Today I leave behind all the negative. The past is in the past and it has no place beside me in 2019.

Dear Natalie,

I noticed that you haven’t been yourself lately. There’s been a lot on your plate and you’ve been having trouble keeping up. But don’t despair, please stay hopeful. Everything is going to come back. Your peace, your confidence, your joy, and the pink light which fills your heart. I know you feel like you’ve lost yourself and like the world and your whole life are crumbling down around you, but this is just a phase. It will pass.

This is just one chapter in the story you’re writing and when this chapter ends, you will find yourself once more.

You feel like you have lost control over your life and like you can’t do anything right. You feel like a fool for always trying to see the best in people and letting these toxic people tear you down again and again. You feel disappointed in yourself for allowing someone to treat you in a such an abusive and awful way for far too long. And you’re right, you deserve so much better.

You feel like you haven’t been living your life because there has been a dark negative cloud hovering over it for quite some time now. But that cloud is about to go away. Nothing lasts forever.

If you feel like you’re about to break down, give up, just remember one thing: you are strong and you are better than this and you can fight against anything that hurts you.

Bad abusive relationships, heartbreaks, failure, unfulfilled dreams, unaccomplished goals — you’ve been through all of this before. We all have.

I know what it’s like to have your heart broken into a million tiny pieces and to have to pick them all up, piece by piece, all by yourself. I have felt what it’s like to be in a one-sided relationship in which your expectations aren’t met. Instead of feeling loved, happy, respected, supported, and fulfilled, you feel lonely, unappreciated, sad, and empty.

We all deserve to be loved. We all deserve to be respected. And we all deserve to be happy.

I know what it’s like to be so close to reaching your goals and then something unexpectedly blows everything up in your face. And then you start thinking, maybe he was right. Maybe you are a stupid, worthless, washed up has been. Maybe you are a loser. This person loved you, right? So their opinion of you must be correct. No.

NO!

You can’t let heartbreak and failure tear you down. You can’t walk away from everything you want and everything you’ve worked so hard for. You can not believe the terrible words of an awful ABUSIVE person who is clearly projecting their insecurities on to you. You can not help someone that doesn’t want to change.

You need to remember your strength, resilience, and worth. There are so many people in your life that love and will continue to love you no matter what. And one day you will meet the person who will truly love, respect, and support you, no matter what. And you will be happy. So, so happy. I promise.

Life can be hard and unfair. It can be cruel and draining. People can be mean and hateful. But none of this is permanent. I know it’s hard for you now, but remember that this is just a phase. It is just a chapter, not your whole story.

You haven’t lost yourself, she’s right here. Finish writing this chapter and turn the page forever.

2019 is waiting for you and there are pink skies ahead. Everything is going to be alright.

Happy New Year!

Love,

Yourself

Thanks to each and every one of you for your continued support. Wishing you all the best. Happy New Year! xo

Bitter Blood Orange French 75

December 30, 2018 by Natalie Leave a Comment

Can 2018 get the hell out of town already? Sending this year off with something bitter and sparkling because it only seemed appropriate. I took a popular classic champagne cocktail, the French 75 (gin, lemon, simple, champagne), and changed it up a bit by adding fresh blood orange juice and Campari. My bitter blood orange riff on the French 75 is the perfect cocktail to send 2018 packing.

The original French 75 was created by Harry Macelhone at Harry’s New York Bar in Paris in 1915. The cocktail was said to have such a kick that it felt like being shelled with the powerful French 75mm Howitzer field gun. The cocktail was popularized in America at The Stork Club in NYC and with its publication in the Savoy Cocktail book in 1930. It also makes an appearance in one of my favorite Humphrey Bogart movies, Casablanca.

Bitter Blood Orange French 75, makes 1 serving

1 oz. gin

1/4 oz. campari

1/2 oz. blood orange juice

1/2 oz. simple syrup

Champagne or Prosecco

First add all ingredients (except champagne) to a cocktail shaker, fill completely with ice and then shake vigorously. Strain into a coupe glass and top with champagne. Garnish with a slice of blood orange.

The changes that I made to this classic cocktail were so simple yet made such a huge impact on the flavor. Blood oranges have deep red flesh and the flavor is much more intense than a normal orange. This fruit is sweet, bitter, and has a slight hint of raspberry flavor. They pair perfectly with Campari, which is also crimson red and has a bittersweet taste with distinct notes of cherry, cascarilla, clove, rhubarb, cinnamon, and orange peel. As a result of the color of both of these ingredients, and their delicious flavors we are left with a delicious and stunningly hued cocktail.

While many great and positive things happened in my life during 2018, unfortunately, it has come to a bittersweet ending. It only felt right to make a bubbly and bittersweet cocktail to coincide with that. I’m looking forward to the future, continuing to grow my business, and making some big life changes in 2019. But most of all I am most excited for a fresh start and a chance to be happy again. I’m raising my glass and wishing you all a very Happy New Year! xo

All I Want For Christmas is Gin: Peppermint Negroni

December 23, 2018 by Natalie 3 Comments

Hey everyone! Just thought I’d jump in here and squeeze in one Christmas post before it’s too late. I needed something easy to make for Christmas so I variated on one of my favorite classics and made a Peppermint Negroni. Sorry for being MIA the last few weeks but life has taken some crazy turns and I needed to step away and take care of myself. I will probably share more about that soon but let’s just say I’m more excited to start a new year than you could possibly know. So let’s have a drink, shall we?

Peppermint Negroni, makes 1 serving

1 oz. peppermint tea-infused gin (I used Brooklyn Gin)

1 oz. sweet vermouth

1 oz. Campari

Making a tea infusion is a super simple way to change up a classic. I decided to infuse the gin for this one because it is the highest ABV of the three ingredients so I know it would infuse pretty quickly. I used two peppermint tea bags and steeped half a bottle of gin for an hour and then removed the tea bags. That should suffice taste wise but give it a test and if you want it more peppermint forward add another tea bag or leave them in for longer.

To make the Peppermint Negroni add all of your ingredients to a mixing glass and stir on ice. Strain into a rocks glass over a large cube and garnish with an orange twist. Perhaps even a candy cane on the side. Not going to lie, I totally stirred this with a candy cane and then ate it. It’s Christmas, what can I say?

All I want for Christmas is Gin.

I love how a simple tweak can change a cocktail entirely plus make it more festive for the holidays. Enjoyed quite a few of these last night by the tree. I hope you’ll give this Peppermint Negroni a try for Christmas Eve or Christmas. As always I would love to hear your thoughts below and I hope everyone has a Merry Christmas. xo

Espresso Donuts with Irish Cream Glaze

December 7, 2018 by Natalie Leave a Comment

If you dig really deep on the internet you will probably find the first blog I ever started. I’ll let you be the super sleuth but it was, in fact, a baking blog. I’m happy to have clients like Kerry Gold Irish Cream that let me have creative freedom to come up with all sorts of recipes like these Espresso Donuts with Irish Cream Glaze. These are so easy to throw together and bake in only 8 minutes!

Another secret that you probably don’t know about me is that before the blog or bartending or design school I really wanted to open up a bakery. Baking has always been like therapy to me. For 30 minutes, to an hour or the longest, most tedious, baking challenge (like fondant — still terrible at that) I seem to lose myself at the task at hand. For those minutes or hours, my mind is completely clear and I can just concentrate on a recipe and making something out of nothing. I love working with my hands, having the house be overpowered with warm delicious smells, tasting the batter, and indulging in a hopefully perfect finished product.

The other thing about me is that I live for coffee. It gets me through the days and sometimes even the nights. I also live for sweets. Fact: I was born with 32 sweet tooths. No joke. So now you know the way to my heart. And that finally brings me to how I came up with these Espresso Donuts. They’re decadently rich, sweet, caffeinated, and boozy. I don’t think that I have to mention that I also love booze, right? That’s already a given.

Espresso Donuts, makes 1 dozen

1 1/4 cups all-purpose flour

1/2 cup brown sugar

1/3 cup unsweetened cocoa powder

1/4 cup granulated sugar

1 tbsp. finely ground espresso or instant espresso powder

1/2 tsp. baking soda

1/2 tsp. baking powder

1/4 tsp. salt

1 egg, lightly beaten

1/2 cup milk

1/2 cup butter, melted

1 cup miniature semisweet chocolate chips

Kerry Gold Irish Cream Glaze

2 cups powdered sugar

1/4 cup Kerry Gold Irish Cream

Preheat your oven to 375°F. Coat your doughnut pan with cooking spray and set aside. In a large bowl stir together flour, brown sugar, cocoa powder, granulated sugar, espresso, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. In a medium bowl combine egg, milk, and melted butter. Add egg mixture all at once to flour mixture, stir just until smooth and then stir in chocolate chips.

Spoon batter into a ziplock bag and snip off one corner of the bag. Alternatively, you can use a pastry bag if you have one. Pipe batter into the doughnut pans, filling about half full. Bake for 6-8 minutes or until tops springs back when lightly touched. Cool in pan on a wire rack for 2 minutes. Invert pan to let the doughnuts drop out and let them cool completely on the wire rack.

To make the glaze stir together the powdered sugar and Kerry Gold Irish Cream. If the glaze is too thick add more Irish Cream until you have the desired consistency. Spoon or pour the glaze on top of doughnuts, allowing the excess to drip off. Leave doughnuts, glazed sides up, on wire racks until glaze is set.

If you’re not a fan of rich and decadent then these double chocolate Espresso Donuts with Irish Cream Glaze just aren’t for you. And that’s a crying shame, so don’t disappoint me. I hope you can find the time to make yourself a treat this weekend. If you do leave me an update in the comments below. Hopefully one day I’ll open that bakery but I think I might make it a retirement plan for when I want to wake up at 3 am to bake. For now, I will continue to be going to bed at that hour. xo

Cranberry Mulled Wine for Fall Entertaining

November 19, 2018 by Natalie 1 Comment

Warm drinks are so cozy and soothing to the soul this time of year. To be perfectly honest, my soul has been feeling a little down lately so it needs all the soothing it can get. I’ve teamed up with Santa Margherita Wines to share a super easy mulled wine recipe that is perfect for Fall and holiday entertaining. The only thing better than indulging in a warm cozy cup of spiced wine is sharing it with the people you love.

I used Santa Margherita Chianti Classico Reserva for this Cranberry Mulled Wine recipe. An authentic Italian Chianti made from grapes grown in the heart of Tuscany’s Chianti Classico region. The aromas of this complex red wine range from cherries and plums to gladiolus flowers and earthy flint which makes it a perfect pairing for the baking spices associated with mulled wine. In addition to using classic mulled wine ingredients, I also added cranberries to make it festive for Thanksgiving!

Cranberry Mulled Wine, makes 6 servings

1 bottle of Santa Margherita Chianti Classico Reserva
1/2 cup cranberries
1/4 cup honey
2 cinnamon sticks
1/2 tsp. fresh nutmeg
1 vanilla bean or 1 tsp. vanilla extract
2 small oranges
10 whole cloves
3 whole star anise

First slice one orange into wheels and juice the other orange. If you’re using a vanilla bean instead of extract, split the vanilla bean lengthwise and scrape the bean into the wine. Add your wine, spices, juice and fruit to a saucepan and turn the heat up to medium, until the wine is hot. Reduce heat to a very low simmer and keep warm until ready to serve. Before serving use a slotted spoon to remove all of the spices from the wine, and then ladle into mugs. Garnish with cranberries, a cinnamon stick, and a slice of orange.

Mulled wine has a distinct, spiced flavor brought out all the more by sipping it hot. If you prefer something boozier, you can add a few ounces of brandy, bourbon, rye or even rum! I love the tart and fruity finish that the cranberries added to this mulled wine recipe. Santa Margherita Chianti Reserva made the perfect base for the mulled wine because of it’s bright, round, warm, dry, earthy finish.

It’s been a little hard for me to get into the holiday spirit this year. Even just thinking about making this mulled wine has me more excited for Thanksgiving though! I hope you’ll try this Cranberry Mulled Wine recipe and please send some holiday cheer my way in the comments below. xo

Sparkling Rosé Paloma

November 7, 2018 by Natalie 3 Comments

It’s always rosé season in this house! So excited to team up with 90+ Cellars for this post to share my Sparkling Rosé Paloma recipe with you.

If you haven’t heard of 90+ Cellars, it’s a really cool wine brand that curates a portfolio of wines from all over the globe. They love great wine and their mission is to make drinking great wine easier and more affordable for everyone. They do this by buying wine at a discount from acclaimed wineries and vineyards — then they are able to sell great wine at a reduced price under their label. Thus bringing better wine to more people at a lower price. It’s a pretty brilliant concept!

I’ve used their Sparkling Rosé in this recipe which is lovely in a glass on its own but also works marvelously in cocktails. 90+ Cellars Sparkling Rosé is made with Pinot Noir grapes from Northern Italy. It is pale pink in color, dry, fruity, and has charming effervescence. It’s notes of strawberry, passionfruit, and rose petals make it perfect for complimenting spirits and adding a delightful flavor to cocktails.

Sparkling Rosé Paloma, serves 1

1 1/2 oz. blanco tequila

1 oz. fresh grapefruit juice

1/2 oz. fresh lime juice

1/2 oz. simple syrup (1:1)

top with 90+ Cellars Sparkling Rosé

sprigs of thyme, for shaking with and garnish

grapefruit wedges, for garnish

ancho chile salt, for rimming

First, make your ancho chile salt by combining equal parts salt and ancho chile powder. I also sprinkled in some crushed red pepper for extra texture. Rim the edge of your serving glass by running a lime wedge around it and then dipping it into a bowl of your prepared ancho chile salt.

Next, add tequila, grapefruit juice, lime juice, simple syrup and thyme to a cocktail shaker. Add ice, shake, and then strain into your salted glass filled with ice. Top with 90+ Cellars Sparkling Rosé and garnish with a sprig of thyme and grapefruit wedge.

Have I ever told you how much I love Palomas? I do. I do.

They’re citrusy and oh so refreshing. They’re like little fizzy effervescent grapefruit margaritas. Then I went ahead and added rosé to it and made it 100,000,000x better.

Traditionally a Paloma is made with tequila, lime, and grapefruit soda. I like to make mine with the fresh juice of lime and grapefruit and then I use club soda to add the carbonated element. Here I simply swapped out soda for 90+ Cellars Sparkling Rosé and it truly came out amazing! This Sparkling Rosé Paloma is fruity, juicy, fresh, clean, fizzy and herbaceous. Did I mention delicious? Why yes it is!

I hope you’ll be enjoying one this weekend. You can check out 90+ Cellars website here to view and purchase their entire wine collection online. Cheers everyone! xo

Trick or Treat: The Monster Fizz

October 26, 2018 by Natalie 1 Comment

I’m just here for the BOOS! That’s why I’ve teamed up with my friends at KINKY Beverages to bring you the perfect Halloween treat—the Monster Fizz.

I worked with KINKY Beverages over the Summer to develop this Tropical Mango Frosé that turned out so delicious! Ever since then I’ve really enjoyed using their liqueurs to compliment other spirits in cocktails. KINKY Green Liqueur is a fusion of super premium vodka distilled five times with flavors of crisp green apples and pears. Not only does KINKY Green give this drink its spooky green hue but it also adds delicious fall flavors to the Monster Fizz. I’ve added a monster candy skewer garnish to make this drink super fun for all your Halloween festivities!

Monster Fizz, serves 1

1 oz. KINKY Green Liqueur

1 oz. gin

3/4 oz. lemon juice

3/4 oz. simple syrup

1 egg white

club soda

assorted monster candy for garnish

First, make your monster candy skewer. This part is so easy and super fun. I bought all my candy at Party City and Target but I’m sure you could find some fun monster candy at a specialty candy store too. I just arranged the candy in a way that made them look like little faces. The only tricky part to these is getting the smaller thin pieces of candy onto the skewer. My tip is to thread a small portion of the back of the candy onto the skewer instead of sticking it through the middle of the entire piece of candy. I did a few skewers before I realized this method was easier. The other great thing about these monster candy skewers is that you can make them as favors for a Halloween party or even use them as cake toppers too.

Now let’s make a Monster Fizz! Add the KINKY Green, gin, lemon, simple syrup, and egg white to a cocktail shaker and dry shake to incorporate all ingredients. Next, add ice and shake again very vigorously. Strain into a highball glass and top with soda. Garnish with a monster candy skewer.

This Monster Fizz is just too adorable not to mention the perfect cocktail to serve at a Halloween party. It’s super fruity, fizzy, refreshing and tart which makes the sour candy the perfect accompaniment to the drink. If you’re not throwing a Halloween party that’s okay, there’s no better way to get yourself into the Halloween spirit than by whipping up a few spooky cocktails.

Have a great weekend and Happy Halloween! I hope you’ll be making a few of these Monster Fizzes. Thanks to KINKY Beverages for supplying a delicious and perfectly hued spirit to make festive Halloween drinks with. Don’t forget to eat, drink, and be scary everyone! xo

A Cozy Day In + 52 Lists Giveaway

October 23, 2018 by Natalie 1 Comment

Recently I spent a cozy day in with my best friend Sam. We met each other through mutual friends 15 years ago but only became super close over the last 5 or 6. We even went to the same college but weren’t really friends then either! TBH she went on a date with my ex-boyfriend so I kinda hated her.

LOL. Sam if you’re reading this—don’t worry I’m totally over it.

I’d like to think that we came back into each other’s lives at just the right time when we were ready to be friends or perhaps when we needed each other the most. I think it’s true that people come into your life for a reason, sometimes exactly when you need them to.

As we get older different things are becoming more important to us. Last year Sam got married and also found a new job with more responsibility. While I moved in with my long-term boyfriend and started my own business. We both even talk about moving out of state sometime in the future. Which means it is possible that one day we won’t be living in the same state anymore. It’s safe to say that we both have our own busy lives going on but we try to make time for each other as much as we can.

Moorea Seal recently released another book in her 52 Lists Project series called 52 Lists for Togetherness. I thought this was the perfect opportunity to grab a copy for Sam and me to fill out together. The whole idea behind the book is to learn more about who you are, how you see your loved ones, and how you can thrive together by creating 52 lists, one for every week of the year. You can fill it out solo or you can use it as a tool to connect with loved ones by working on the lists together.

We spent a cozy day in filling out a few lists while sipping on Boozy Apple Cider a la Modes, a recipe that I made on A Beautiful Mess last Winter. This drink is so delicious and couldn’t be more perfect for fall. Mulling cider in the house is probably my favorite activity to do in the colder months. It’s so soothing and fills the air with warm baking spices.

Let us not forget about the bourbon.

Who could do such a thing?

Sam even got to meet Beemer — the little black kitten I rescued from the hood of a BMW in September. She’s so adorable and I think we might be keeping her but probably changing her name. Thoughts on the name Dolly? Please leave kitty name suggestions in the comments below. Bowie had to make an appearance too. He’s so jealous, he needs ALL the attention. It was a lovely day filled with snuggles from the animals and lots of talk about the present and the future.

I’m pretty sure the animals just wanted to steal sips of our Boozy Apple Cider a la Modes though.

I’m looking forward to filling out each list in 52 Lists for Togetherness and I’m so excited to be teaming up with Moorea Seal to gift one reader two books so they can also work on their lists with a loved one. I can’t recommend the journals in the 52 Lists Project enough. If you’re looking to deepen connections with yourself and the people around you this is the perfect way to do it. You can enter to win by heading over to my Instagram and following the rules. You can also pick up a copy here too. Good luck everyone!

What do you do to keep the relationships flourishing in your life? Would love to hear your tips below. xo

Boozy Mexican Mocha

September 29, 2018 by Natalie 4 Comments

Has anyone ever made Mexican hot chocolate in the Winter? This Boozy Mexican Mocha recipe is similar to hot chocolate but with the addition of coffee — which automatically makes it my favorite. I pretty much look for any excuse to sneak another cup of joe into my day. Totally 100% have a coffee addiction and that’s why we’re celebrating National Coffee Day on the blog today!

Mexican Mocha is a rich chocolatey drink with a kick of warm baking spices and a little bit of heat from cayenne pepper. I prefer to use espresso in this recipe but strong coffee will work as well. Once you whip up the mocha mix, building the drink is super easy. It’s officially Fall now, and this Boozy Mexican Mocha is the perfect cocktail to make for the cooler nights we’re having.

Boozy Mexican Mocha, serves 1

6 oz. strong coffee (or two shots of espresso)

2 oz. Kerrygold Irish Cream

2 tbsp. Mexican mocha mix*

splash of milk or cream (optional)

grated cinnamon, for garnish

*Mexican Mocha Mix

2 tbsp. powdered sugar

1 tbsp. unsweetened cocoa powder

1/4 tsp. cinnamon

1/4 tsp. nutmeg

1/8 tsp. cayenne pepper

First, make you Mexican Mocha Mix by combining all the dry ingredients together in a bowl. Stir until mixed. This will make about enough for 2 cocktails. I love making a larger batch of this and then just storing it in a jar. That way I have the mix ready for whenever I’m in the mood. You know, for those cold or rainy days.

Dare I even mention snow yet?

I don’t want to think about it.

To make a cup of Boozy Mexican Mocha. Brew coffee or espresso and add 6 oz. to a mug. Add 2 tbsp. of Mexican Mocha Mix and stir until completely dissolved. Then mix in 2 oz. of Kerrygold Irish Cream. Stir and garnish with a sprinkle of cinnamon on top. If you’re looking for something less boozy or you want to add a little more creaminess, add a splash of heavy cream, half & half, or the milk of your choice.

Kerrygold Irish Cream couldn’t be any more perfect for this Boozy Mexican Mocha recipe. I basically used it as a substitute for milk in this recipe and it adds just the right amount of booze without being overpowering. Not to mention the extra lovely chocolate flavors it adds. A great idea for the holiday season is gifting jars of homemade Mexican Mocha Mix with a cute instructional tag and a bottle of Kerrygold Irish Cream. Sipping on this Boozy Mexican Mocha makes my heart so happy and I know you will love it too! Happy National Coffee Day everyone! xo

Home Tour on Apartment Therapy

September 11, 2018 by Natalie 13 Comments

I’m so excited to share that I recently did a home tour with Apartment Therapy. Having a home tour on one of my favorite interior design sites has been a dream since I was in design school and I can’t believe it has finally happened! I have spent the last year and a half pouring my heart and soul into this apartment and making it a home. It is truly my sanctuary. Here are a few sneak peeks — but you can check out the full tour here.

A special thanks to Nancy Mitchell who photographed the feature. I met her working at Bar Convent Brooklyn with Angostura Bitters and we started following each other on Instagram. Shortly after she reached out telling me she also worked for Apartment Therapy and asked if I wanted to do a home tour. Nancy runs an amazing cocktail blog and IG account called The Backyard Bartender. Make sure you check out her drinks and her interior photography. You seriously never know who you’re going to meet and I’m so glad I got to work on this shoot with Nancy.

Hope you all enjoy the tour and let me know what you think by chiming in on the comments below. The beautiful baby blue monstera leaf wallpaper in the bedroom is from Wallflora Shop and the lemon mural in the kitchen was done by my very talented friend Blair Urban of Urban Lush Murals.

Not sure what I’m going to do now that the house is completely decorated. 😉

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